When The Unthinkable Happens

Miscarriage sadly occurs to many women and it can be debilitating, shocking and painful. How you approach your journey can deeply affect the outcome of your miscarriage recovery.

It is normal to feel pain and loss and a very important step back to a normal life. Acknowledging how tough it is to see babies and pregnant women in the street is a good first step. Let yourself feel the ‘why me' emotions and face them head on. Pretending they are not there can leave you mentally exhausted as you struggle through a mine field of daily reminders.

Partners can be just as affected even if they show it differently. Invite them to talk about how they are feeling, with you or a trusted friend. Support is paramount to you both and can be beneficial in releasing all those emotions you have inside you.

So where do you go from here? There are no hard rules for dealing with grief. Your miscarriage recovery begins with you being kind to yourself and taking each day as it comes. Learn to give yourself a break and not to expect too much in terms of how long recovery will take.

Focus on the importance of grieving for as long as you need to, this cannot be rushed. Remember you and your partner have suffered an ordeal that may take many months to recover from.


Hurtful Comments

Some people simply don’t know how to imagine what you are going through. They find it easier to put on a hard or tough attitude as this is easier for them. The thought of being faced with tears and unpleasant thoughts can be too much.

Some medical professionals can also sadly be abrupt or careless with their comments. There is a kinder approach when delivering sad news, for example by adding “I’m sorry” and showing empathy. It goes a long way.
Even pregnant women and new mothers (aware of your miscarriage) can be thoughtless without realising it. Complaining about the uncomfortable nature of their pregnancy or gushing over their newborn, can be confronting for both men and women and especially so for those who have been trying for a while to have a baby. To hear someone complaining about something you would happily trade for or to see something you are too scared to even dream about can be crushing.
What Not To Say To Someone Who Has Had A Miscarriage
  • Stop Crying
  • It wasn’t meant to be
  • Nature takes care of errors
  • It’s not the end of the world
  • You didn’t know carry the baby to term, you shouldn’t be upset
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